Matthew Shepard's mother visits campus
With every reason to hate the two young men who viciously beat her 21-year-old son to death in 1998, Judy Shepard told several hundred people gathered on the UC campus in May 2009 that she did not hold onto anger or hatred. "We had a family meeting," she said, "and we knew that if we went down that road of anger and hate that we'd be victims, too."
Appearing in Tangeman University Center's Great Hall, she spoke openly about the family's grief and the need for society to embrace diversity, especially of gay and lesbian people. "My long-term goal," she said, "is for talks like this not to be needed anymore -- that the gay community would no longer be separated from everyone else."
As founder and executive director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, she has spent nearly 10 years speaking to more than 1 million people around the world, often on university campuses, about the need for "replacing hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance," which is the foundation's motto. A few days before the UC event, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the hate-crimes bill known as the Matthew Shepard Act, which would provide funding to prosecute a wide range of hate crimes and would also authorize the federal government to prosecute these crimes when states fail to do so.
In October 1998, two men tied Matthew to a fence near Laramie, Wyo., then tortured him, beat him and left him to die. Approximately 18 hours later, a cyclist found him, after mistaking him for a scarecrow.
Judy did not dwell on the details of the crime. "Living our lives in that space and time wouldn't accomplish anything," she said.
She did, however, explain that her son's head was so badly beaten, swollen and stitched together that she did not recognize him when she made it to the hospital. Five days later, he died.
“Matt is not here with us because two men learned it was OK to hate,” she said. "I blame society equally for teaching them how to hate. It's a sick society that is silent, indifferent and complacent.
“We need to be educated about the things that we know nothing about. Fear and ignorance are hurting the gay community.”
In a question and answer session after her talk, she added, "We live in a very scary world sometimes, but we don't have to. My job is to remind you that you’re the choir, and you need to keep singing.
“Be honest about who you are. People will identify with you when you are just your wonderful self.
"We are afraid to come out because of what is going on around us, but if we don't come out, things won't change," she urged. "We just need to be people who take care of each other and love each other."
The event was sponsored by Student Activities and Leadership Development, MainStreet, UC Honors Program, UC Women’s Center, Omicron Delta Kappa, United Black Student Association, Ethnic Programs and Services, GenderBloc and Out on Campus.